So Here We Are....

It's 2010. We still live separately and still not married.
I think about marriage every now and then but the thoughts don't consume me or make me depressed anymore. I browse the wedding blogs, wedding dress sites and watch very few wedding shows now just for kicks. My attitude now is "If it Happens Great, If Not that OK too". However, not being married or having a date in sight does make me cautious about buying a house. I'm not sure if I can go into purchasing a house with him with just the idea that we will get married some day. I need something more solid.

We have done everything else ass backwards I just want to do some thing right
~~~
So where are we:
Still living separately. I'm at the same residence, just me and mini me. He still lives with his family but in a bigger house farther away from us. He has a larger room now than the room he had at the old house. And he has upgraded his furniture. Because of the distance I have been spending the weekends there with him and the little one.


The week of Mini Me's birthday shortly before Christmas last year we began to spend the weekends over there so that we would be together for her day and the holidays. I spent the entire Thanksgiving Day and weekend with him and his family. Didn't see my family or get to them until the following week (that was rough being as though I never missed a Turkey Day with my family since my grandfather passed).

During the first blizzard (December 09) just me and mini-me where snowed in together. When the storm let up he came and got her by the end of the week and she stayed through Christmas to the New Year. I arrived at his home the week of Christmas and stayed till the New Year. We spent NYE together at my house. Just me, him and mini-me. 30 minutes into the new year and he was out the door off to work. {Work hasn't changed much}.

We were snowed in together for 2 weeks during the 2nd Blizzard (Feb. 2010) and snowstorm at his house with the entire fam. That was eventful and fun at times. We survived without 1 fight and nobody got hurt. We even got to celebrate his birthday. We couldn't go out but I did cook one of his favorite meals and we were granted the alone time in his room, no kids. Even though the time spent was needed and not bad I was glad to see the snow go so I could get back to my home with less people and not as busy. I was even glad to get back to work.

Valentines Day weekend we spent with our kids in Raleigh,NC. Mini me and the Fiance went to a Father Daughter dance at a museum on Saturday. The son and I spent an evening in the hotel eating and watching his favorite shows. We bonded a little. That Sunday (valentines day) I ordered breakfast in bed, room service for the fiance and kids. They ate more than he did. But after we checked out we took them to the children's museum for a few hours. Stopped at Krispy Kreme and Mo Joes then headed home.

Mini Me started Ballet and Tap dance classes shortly before the blizzard her classes are every Saturday from Jan. to June and every Friday and Saturday from April to June. So since the fiance lives closer to where her classes are he picks her up every Thursday and I join them later that evening and we stay till Sunday. I can't promise I'll stick with this routine every weekend once these classes are over. I miss sleeping in on Saturday mornings in my bed. I love being up under and beside him but I just miss being in my own comfort sometimes. I miss cooking Sunday dinner in my own kitchen knowing where everything is. Being as though I only have free time on the weekends and I'm at his house so much, my DVR free space is very low. I have a lot of shows to catch up on so I can free up some space for the summer line up. By the time we get home on Sundays settle in and unpack. I don't wanna cook. I just wanna get ready for the work week and chill. So only time will tell how often I spend the weekends there. I just hope it doesn't create conflict or an argument. I don't want this routine to become an obligation and I want him to understand that I just want to stay home sometimes.

Now the relationship:
We have our good days and bad days. The Bliss is gone but we are working to get that back. We have reinstated date nights. and family nights wit the kids. We just have to work a little more not to let that get away from us again. He is starting to make me feel as in if he appreciates me almost as much as I appreciate and love him... The "little things" have come to a halt and that may be my fault. I started it but then stopped because I started to feel that my efforts went unnoticed and unappreciated. I'm hopeful we will get back there. I Miss Us. I miss the flowers, the cards just because, the late night phone calls, the surprise visits during the week to just cuddle in bed, the occasional gift just because he was thinking of me, and the compliments. Shytt a girl loves to know that she still got it. That she still attracts her man. That she still holds his attention.

Wedding what Wedding:
Still no wedding date. But like I said I'm not bothered as much anymore. It would be nice, a girl can dream though. I don't discuss it much unless he brings it up. Don't want to come off desperate or like a nag. In the very beginning I was anxious because I was excited he proposed. At one point I didn't see marriage in my future. It wasn't that I didn't think I was marriage material. I was just never one to fantasize like most girls about my wedding. I have seen too many marriages fail that I just didn't make it a goal or dwell on the possibility. Maybe I should bring it up so we have an understanding when it comes time to sign those papers on the new house.. HMMMM

Regarding "the new house":He still wont get an apt. with us. But we have seen a lender and got a good faith estimate on how much house we can afford and guidelines on what we need to do to get out credit and $$$$ right. We have been meeting with a realtor to look at potential houses.
In the meantime, because we want above average great credit, we are in the building stages. I'm also on the market for a new apt. Nothing fancy but something spacious, clean, quiet and livable until we get the house. The landlord of the house I'm in now has decided she wants to sell. So we (me and mini me)got a few months or so to make a move. The fiance has gotten quite comfy where he is. I just hope it doesn't delay the moves we are trying to make. The thought is bothersome but I think we will get through.
So as you can see we are still a work in progress. A lot of work but I'm UP FOR THE JOB!!!.


Until next time,Hugs and Butterfly Kisses!